Don’t Take It Personal



I remember the first time, I heard the saying, “Don’t take it personal, it is only business!” Oh my, that just disappointed me on so many levels! To be clear, my initial thought was, ‘I thought this to be a friendship and not just some business partnership;’ especially when we were friends first. Outside of that, ministry is ministry, business is business and relationship is relationship; so I thought.

There seems to be this thought, that you cannot mix relationships and business. I know maybe, like me you think, yes you can but I have more often than not found that to be the opposite. As the business grows or changes apparently so does the friendship/relationship. I do agree that we should be able to handle the two separately and maintain both but it seems less apparent to me.

For one, when you leave the business you feel you now have to also cut off the relationship because how can the two be the same any longer. It becomes apparent that was your main connection. But is that always right? When you leave shouldn’t you try your best to leave something on good terms and not leave someone or something ‘out to dry’ so to speak? You can begin to question, what was the intention of the relationship all along?

How do you not take it personal, when you had relationship with the person? How insensitive to ask that of someone. I know that this is something many have faced and perhaps for some they just accept it but I just wish more would be honest about how it made them feel. You see, it is when we are honest about these things; it helps us to protect our hearts from becoming hardened by it and from allowing ourselves to believe that somehow this is ok.

On the other hand, let’s admit it there are certain times that you need to step away and you do not want to have a disagreement about it but you must move on. I believe this is when once again; you need to be totally honest, perhaps confrontational in love (of course) and admit there is a breach in the relationship and there must be a separation before further damage may be done. Perhaps, you need to admit where you both were wrong, make it right and still go in separate ways. I believe the most important thing is to do so correctly in order that there is no misinterpretation. It is also vital to try your best not to bring an offense.

In reality, there are times that not taking it personal is very difficult. Perhaps it may be almost impossible to do at certain times without being offended. The best thing regarding all of this is to be upfront with one another, do your best to talk openly and honestly and of course be sincere. After all, if you do not want something to be taken personal, wouldn’t it only be right to know how to separate business and relationship that may be connected. The best thing is to admit when there a noticeable problem in working together and trying to come up with a solution to make it work and to not allow it to turn into something else.

I encourage you to consider the relationships you are currently in or perhaps considering where business and personal are intertwined. Determine to purposely pray and take a real good look at what you are stepping into. Although, you may be good friends or have known each other outside of the business; things will be different when you are working together in this setting. Do not allow yourself to make an excuse for something you may not like to just ‘keep things good.’ Be open and honest with one another from the beginning and agree how you can maintain a good relationship with one another in the business and outside on a personal level.

If you have any thoughts, comments, I would love to hear from you. You are also welcome to share your experience about this topic. Let’s ‘examine this moment’ together.

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