MY HEALTH JOURNEY
Please note I am not giving professional medical advice. Also, this may be a sensitive topic to some readers.
I can remember like yesterday, the time when so much disappointment hit me all at once. It was an intense time mentally. Someone I knew for several years all of sudden just totally changed and it became overwhelming. There were things we talked about for so many years and dreamed about doing together. The time came for us to walk in what we talked about and what… “Jealousy took hold of her heart and my friend could not be honest about it.” Let’s take a moment to discuss, “Moments on the edge.”
Last month, I began a new section on my blog called, “My Health Journey,” that I believed would encourage others. I made a decision to write about a variety of personal health issues that I unfortunately have faced over the years and still some I currently am dealing with.
You can read: “My Health Journey”
It was an incredible moment for me leaving me on the edge. I tried several times to have what I call, “an honest heart to heart” about what was going on between us. Every time I would ask, it felt like I was dealing with a clammed shell. I felt like I didn’t know who this person was anymore and she became a “fake friend” to me. It felt like she wanted all the pomp and circumstance and could not take the fact that she wasn’t getting it.
After several times confronting and wanting to get things right, I had to ask her not to communicate with me anymore. She then went on to, what I call, “explode vomit.” She said things that did not make sense and I had to protect my heart because this person, I felt was like a sister to me, now had become something I did not know. After all that, she then said, “I am sorry ‘IF’ I hurt you and ‘IF’ you don’t understand.”
It was at this time, I was sincerely ‘done.’ I believe some would understand what I mean by, ‘just done.’ I told her I forgave her although, she did not really apologize in my opinion and told her we will not be the same as we were. Things were different now. What amazed me the most, was that she could not accept that and only insisted on trying to call and be a part of life explaining herself without making any sense. She wanted to call and only brag about her life, while I was like, ‘do you realize what really happened?’
I have to admit mentally, this was very hard for me. It took waves of going to God in prayer and making a conscious choice to forgive her. Forgiving myself for allowing this person to have that much space in my heart and not seeing her for who she really was and forgiving her for choosing to not be real. For me, I would have respected her so much more if she would have been honest with me. I so appreciate honesty and integrity. A genuine person is a real person in my opinion.
This mental battle was so real for me but I thank God for the support of family. I felt as though I got a ‘divorce’ from someone (that is the honest way I could explain it). This person was no longer going to be an integral part of my life. I sincerely thank God for His healing in my heart. Forgiveness helped me to release what I could not change. It helped me to accept what happened and taught me to not allow things to grab my heart like that again.
If you have faced some moments on the edge like me and it affected you mentally too I would love to hear your stories. Feelings of disappointment, discouragement and regret can be very overwhelming mentally. I hope this honest story regarding a time that affected my mental health encourages you that you can gain strength to go on and move past what happened.
If you need someone to talk to please make sure you reach out to:
Mental Health America (MHA)
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25 thoughts on “MOMENTS ON THE EDGE”
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. It’s hard when someone mistreats you acts like they did nothing wrong. I take my hat off to you for being able to forgive.
It’s always difficult making the choice to let go of someone you love. I’ve had to do it at times and it sucks. But, anything that costs you your peace is too expensive. Thank you for sharing your story
Im glad you made it through, sometimes having an outlet helps to release whatever you are feeling. You are so brave for having the courage to confront and face the issue.
I can certainly relate to your experience whereby someone in my life become too toxic for my mental health. Forgive, let go and move on is the only path forward. Thanks for sharing!
Wow what a time to read this! I had a recent experience with someone who acted as a friend and sister but for the second time true colors showed and I cannot have that kind of behavior and negativity in my life. I can’t be around someone who creates a fight out of nothing, gets aggressive and doesn’t want to take any ownership but instead just keep fighting. I am a very positive person and people like that drain me. I am on such an amazing path and I mean It when I say I won’t let anyone hold me back or bring me down or keep a dark cloud hanging around. Sometimes even when you don’t want to, you got to learn to let it go.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story and bringing awareness to this issue. I enjoyed reading your experience.
There’s always a rainbow behind every dark cloud. “For we are living epistles…” Great vctories always come out of great troubles. But in all these things, we’re more than conquerors through Christ our Lord!! Greater glory great woman, in Jesus!!🕊🕊🕊
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences, which can’t be easy. I too have wanted to share my personal experiences on my blog as I learned that through my own vulnerability I can encourage and help others.
Happy for you that you’re in a better mental state now. Sending love and blessings to you! Xx
Thank you for sharing such a personal but relatable story. It’s so unfortunate but most of us have lost a friend because our lights started to shine too bright for them. It’s honestly just as hard as a breakup. This will be such an encouragement for others.
Thank you for sharing. It is hard to lose someone that is close to you and it sounds like you have a wonderful support system. It is good for people to know that others have gone through this as well. It can feel very lonely when we “breakup” with a friend.
I can definitely relate to being hurt by a friend but it can also happen with a family member, but thank you Jesus he sometimes removes the person but He can restore the relationship and improve it. Again every situation is different and the one person that never changes is our Lord! By His grace we can also change and transform into His likeness and He alone can bring peace.
Thank you for sharing. Splitting up with a friend is one of the hardest things to me. Really glad you overcame it!
Thanks for sharing, I’ve definitely been there where a relationship with a friend has changed for the worst. Forgiving and letting go is a great thing!
Yes, leaving is sometimes so hard – and breaking up with a friend is not something that gets talked about usually. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thanks for sharing. Forgiveness is a hard thing to work through but God can get us through anything!
So powerful. At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you. I really appreciate you sharing this story.
Thanks for sharing! Splitting up with a friend can be tough and really hard to do.