MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR SPOUSE



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Having effective communication with your spouse will maintain a healthy relationship. There are some important intentional ways to improve the way you communicate to one another. Let’s take a moment to discuss, “Maintaining Communication with your spouse.”

Let’s be honest, we all can work on communicating better in each relationship we currently have. The way we talk with our spouses can be a challenge when we feel we are not being understood. Perhaps you are dealing with so much miscommunication, you find yourself becoming more and more distant from your spouse. Perhaps you have become angry and tend to talk loud and strong, believing you will be heard well. You may also be guilty of constantly complaining about so many things.

The fact is that all these are impacting our relationship. Our communication with one another can get better when we first acknowledge that we both have to work at it. It’s vital that you pay attention whenever you are ‘talking at’ your spouse vs. ‘talking to’ them. Thinking before you speak is such an important key.

Communication must become deliberate to achieve a loving result. Too often our frustrations can lead to so much negativity in our communication to each other. Remaining aware of your spouse’s needs is necessary however keep in mind that you may not be able to heal issues that they are personally confronting. Be a good listener and direct them toward prayer and outside help when necessary.

Here are some tips that will help in maintaining healthy communication:

1- SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH EACH OTHER AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY AND OTHER DISTRATIONS. Make sure your spouse knows that you are intentionally listening.

2- AVOID ARGUMENTS BY USING MORE “I” STATEMENTS. This will avoid the sense of wanting to defend oneself. When making “YOU” statements you are talking ‘at’ your spouse and no longer just talking ‘to’ them.

3- BE VERY CLEAR AND SPECIFIC WHENEVER AN ISSUE ARRIVES.

4- AVOID ASSUMING THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SPOUSE IS THINKING OR ANTICIPATE WHAT THEY MAY SAY

5- MAKE SURE YOU EXPRESS ANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS USEFULLY. Deal with feelings of bitterness, resentment, disappointment or disapproval in an open and honest manner.

6- MAKE SURE YOU ARE LISTENING TO ONE ANOTHER WITHOUT BEING DEFENSIVE. In order to maintain excellent communication this is so key; each one must be able to hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive.

7- MAKE SURE YOU ARE EXPRESSING POSITIVE FEELINGS FREELY. If you find yourself quick to only point out negativity, you have to work on this. Murmuring and complaining will only bring more distance in your relationship. Expressing positive feelings that include appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, and approval are like making deposits into each other’s love account.

Maintaining healthy communication brings a sense of trust and demonstrates that your spouse is being validated in wants, needs, and feelings. Good communication is both listening well and communicating clearly. Remember to process your feelings before being too quick to talk. Be sure the timing is right when you need to talk to one another. It is so important to learn to compromise in order to resolve matters. You will have to learn how to agree to disagree sometimes. Lastly, consider daily check-ins with one another. Let your spouse know that you are sincerely thinking of them and include notes for them too. It’s funny how many things in life both big and small are being taken for granted

I would love to hear in what ways you are working to maintain healthy communication with your spouse. Also, perhaps you can add to what I shared. I really do believe we can all do better at our communication skills and would love to hear your story.

***You may like to read a great couples book: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

About me: Over time, I have come to realize that we must take pauses or we are just experiencing life passing us by quickly! Everyday there are several moments we can perhaps all talk about and be an encouragement to someone else with. 

~Blessings Pastor Natalie

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