Having effective communication with your spouse will preserve a healthy relationship. There are some important intentional ways to improve the way you communicate to one another. Let’s take a moment to discuss, “Maintaining Communication with your spouse.”
Let’s be honest, we all can work on communicating better in each relationship we now have. The way we talk with our spouses can be a challenge when we feel we are not being understood. Perhaps you are dealing with so much miscommunication, you find yourself becoming more and more distant from your spouse. Perhaps you have become angry and tend to talk loud and strong, believing you will be heard well. You may also be guilty of constantly complaining about so many things.
The fact is that all these are impacting our relationship. Our communication with one another can get better when we first acknowledge that we both have to work at it. It’s vital that you pay attention whenever you are ‘talking at’ your spouse vs. ‘talking to’ them. Thinking before you speak is such an important key.
Communication must become deliberate to achieve a loving result. Too often our frustrations can lead to so much negativity in our communication to each other. Remaining aware of your spouse’s needs is necessary. However, keep in mind that you may not be able to heal issues that they are personally confronting. Be a good listener and direct them toward prayer and outside help when necessary.
Here are some tips that will help in maintaining healthy communication:
1- SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH EACH OTHER AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY AND OTHER DISTRACTIONS. Make sure your spouse knows that you are intentionally listening.
2- AVOID ARGUMENTS BY USING MORE “I” STATEMENTS. This will avoid the sense of wanting to defend oneself. When making “YOU” statements you are talking ‘at’ your spouse and no longer just talking ‘to’ them.
3- BE VERY CLEAR AND SPECIFIC WHENEVER AN ISSUE ARRIVES.
4- AVOID ASSUMING THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SPOUSE IS THINKING OR EXPECT WHAT THEY MAY SAY
5- MAKE SURE YOU EXPRESS ANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS USEFULLY. Deal with feelings of bitterness, resentment, disappointment or disapproval in an open and honest manner.
6- MAKE SURE YOU ARE LISTENING TO ONE ANOTHER WITHOUT BEING DEFENSIVE. Maintaining excellent communication is crucial. Each person must be able to hear complaints without getting defensive.
7- MAKE SURE YOU ARE EXPRESSING POSITIVE FEELINGS FREELY. If you find yourself quick to only point out negativity, you have to work on this. Murmuring and complaining will only bring more distance in your relationship. Expressing positive feelings that include appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, and approval are like making deposits into each other’s love account.
Healthy communication brings a sense of trust. It also shows that your spouse’s wants, needs, and feelings are being validated. Good communication is both listening well and communicating clearly. Remember to process your feelings before being too quick to talk. Be sure the timing is right when you need to talk to one another. It is so important to learn to compromise to resolve matters. You will have to learn how to agree to disagree sometimes. Lastly, consider daily check-ins with one another. Let your spouse know that you are sincerely thinking of them and include notes for them too. It’s funny how many things in life both big and small are being taken for granted.
I would love to hear in what ways you are working to keep healthy communication with your spouse. Also, perhaps you can add to what I shared. I really do believe we can all do better at our communication skills and would love to hear your story.
Don’t let anyone or anything make you believe you are stuck.
There is always another way.
Keep pressing on and find it.
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I love and appreciate this post and I think it is relevant to anyone that is in a couple. I am working hard at being less defensive but it is not always easy!
Thank you so much for taking a moment to read and share your comments. It’s important to continue to work on how we each can communicate better and clearly. 🤗
Such an important message. Relationships are always a work in progress with communication being the foundation. Thank me for these great reminders.
Excellent words of advice and encouragement. Thank you Pastor Natalie for these blogs that help us to grow closer to the Lord and to one another.
This was a great read!
Love this. Really great advice here. I’m still working on the defensiveness aspect of communication
Communication is critical in relationships, but it can be difficult, especially when both parties are stubborn. We learned to talk and be honest with each other over twenty years of marriage. However, we can still have a moment, but we are now conversing rather than arguing. Thank you so much for the timely reminder. It was a fantastic read.
Great advice! Communication is key & I think we should all continuously work on it😊
Be careful with ‘I’ statements when trying to communicate with each other. When I was studying for my MSc in addiction psychology and counselling, we had to do group work as part of it to experience what it would be like for client’s, and a few of my fellow classmates weaponised ‘I’ statements to the point they made their target cry. They eventually dropped out. Someone people think you can say whatever you want just because they say ‘I feel…’ or ‘I think…’
Communication is the key! Women think differently from men so clear communication between partners is very crucial.
This is really great advice for better communication. Thanks for sharing it!
There are so many points on this post that I can relate to. I agree it is important to keep the lines of communication open to keep a good marriage. Just not so easy to get the other half to see it that way and to be as considerate unfortunately.
“Our communication with one another can get better when we first acknowledge that we both have to work at it”. So true! Communication involves constant work. I can relate to this post on so many levels! Thank you. 😊
I am so glad to hear you were encouraged. Communication is definitely something to constantly work on. One sided communication can be so disheartening. Thank you for taking moments with me and sharing your thoughts.
So many great points here. Communication is so important and yet life tends to get in the way. This is practical advice that shows why we can’t let that happen. Quality time is a big one for us. Thank you for sharing!
We each can do better with time management and communication for sure. Thank you so much for taking moments with me to read and share your comments.
Great tips and things to be careful about. Although we are not yet married, we are preparing for it. Thank you for sharing these helpful tips!
Thank you so much for taking moments with me and sharing your thoughts Fransic. Communication is so important in all relationships.
This is such an important post! My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we’re doing good but communication is a bit of an issue for us. Mainly because my husband isn’t fluent in English so that makes communicating any issues or feelings a bit more difficult but we’re working on it. We have date days and try to spend more time together away from technology!
Thank you for taking a moment with read and sharing your thoughts. Communication is so vital in all relationships and you are right it can be difficult when there is a language difference. It is wonderful to hear that you both are intentional to date each other. Wishing you continued success.
This may sound cliche’, but effective communication in any relationship (partner, work, scholl, family) is the key for their success and longevity. I always say, if someone cannot communicate well during the dating stage, RUN!! But you are right, maintaining communication where both parties feel understood and heard above their ego is necessary.
Thank you Kevin for reading and sharing your thoughts. Agreed, pay attention to communication during your time of dating. It is vital to maintain intentional communication in every relationship. Too many can get caught up with being right that they dismiss getting things right.
I totally agree with all your points. My husband and I have language differences, and we are always working on it. Communication is a must for any form of relationship. Thank you for this article.
This is such a great post- especially to keep that connection with your significant other.